I Can’t. I’m Tired

Fatigue isn’t just feeling tired, it’s the bone-deep exhaustion that hits in perimenopause and menopause, even when you’re doing everything “right.” In this episode, we unpack why your energy has packed its bags, how hormonal chaos amplifies fatigue, and what steps can help you feel like a functioning human again. If you’ve been wondering why getting out of bed sometimes feels like a competitive sport… this one’s for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hot Flash and Sassy, a podcast with hot takes, hotter flashes, and a whole lot of sass.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Welcome back to Hot Flash and Sassy, the podcast where we talk honestly about hormones, midlife, and then changes nobody warned us about.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Today, today's episode is for anyone who wakes up tired, stays tired, and wonders how they used to do all the things without needing a nap or a prayer.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Or a prayer. If your energy feels unpredictable, non-existent, or like it's being rationed, very carefully. You're not lazy. You're definitely not broken. That is one thing we want to remind everybody. You're not broken. And definitely not crazy. Just sassy.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Definitely not crazy. What we're talking about today is fatigue. What's normal during perimenopause and menopause, what's not, and what actually helps you get some energy back?

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Well, let's get going. Fatigue is not a personal flaw, Holly. Let's say this clearly. Fatigue during this stage of life is real. So real. At the ripe age of 29. We're exhausted.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

And the other thing, it's not because you're not motivated or out of shape. Your hormone shifts affect how your body produces and uses energy.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Here's that word again. Estrogen. It supports energy, muscle recovery, mood, sleep. As it fluctuates and declines, your body has to work harder to do the exact same things. That little pesky hormone, I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Sure does. Progesterone can be calming, but too much fluctuation can leave you feeling drained. That is one I want to put on the list to talk to Judy about. I'm circling it.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Add in poor sleep, stress, caregiving, careers, life responsibilities, and fatigue become almost inevitable. That's silly fatigue. It's happening whether we like it or not. And I think I stumbled on inevitable. Can you say that word? Inevitable.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Is this like a what is this? Speech class? Speech. That is my nightmare. I can't pronounce words, Renee.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

All right. And we're not, we're fatigue is not just I'm tired.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

No. No, it's so much more than that. Um, our favorite friend, brain fog is associated with fatigue, heavy limbs, losing motivation, forgetting why we walked into the room. My favorite.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

That's my line I'm just like, I forget why I walk into rooms.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

My line's I remembered what I forgot.

unknown 2:58

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Um, it's waking up already exhausted, needing more recovery time, and feeling wiped out after things that used to be easy.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Some days it's physical fatigue, other days it's mental or emotional exhaustion. I think that's really important to know. Yeah, it's not just physical. Yes. It can be your brain is tired, it can be that you're just emotionally drained. It has all of those factors included in it, and this little word, fatigue, is so much bigger than that.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

It is. And I challenge people to think about things that they used to do because they think it's it easily like happens.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

But my big thing was going to the zoo. Like we can go to the zoo now, because I'm fine. But beforehand, we used to love going to the zoo. We would go to the zoo, and I mean, it killed me. How sore were you the next day? It was awful. Even that day, I couldn't barely function. I was like, this is, and I all I want to do is leave. It was awful. I'm like, why can't I pick up my feet? Yeah, honestly. I'm like, why is it hurt so bad? Right. Right. Exhaustion, people.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Well, like everything else that we've talked about on our episodes, there is a difference between perimenopause and menopause. So energy during perimenopause can be wildly inconsistent. I mean, have we talked about this? That's crazy. Perimenopause summed up, isn't it? I know, right? Let's go on the roller coaster. Some days you feel like yourself, other days you feel like your battery is at 12%. I'm lucky if I get to 12%. 12%. 12% would be a miracle. Hormone fluctuations, disrupted sleep, and increasing anxiety all contribute. Our last episode, we talked about sleep. And I think it's really important to note that there is a drastic difference between sleep and how much you sleep versus your body and your mental and emotional fatigue.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

Oh, yeah, for sure. How about menopause, Holly? Menopause. Okay, so post-menopause. This is postmenopause. Estrogen is lower but more stable. Well, let's get to that point.

unknown 4:56

Woohoo!

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Here's a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. It doesn't mean it's good. Okay, fatigue may feel more steady, but it can improve with the right support. Feel more steady, so which is all the time. So you just get used to it, guys. Yeah, that's right. Um, of course, muscle loss, insulin, sensitivity changes, and inflammation can all play a role. That sounds like a party.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Whose party? Yeah, right. Did a man write this? I'm sorry. We're not man bashers. Sorry, just had to throw that in there.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

We we aren't. I hope it doesn't come across that way. We're just pro-women. All right. Um, yeah, it is it is exhausting, and there's of course there are common energy drains. Um, so we can talk about what's stealing our energy. Poor sleep. Uh, we keep saying it. Chronic stress. If you could figure that out, it'd be great. And overcommitting are big ones. Overcommitting, wow. I don't do that. You're crazy. My life summed up. That's your life summed up. If you're a mom, that's your life summed up. Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

It's that super mom image where she's holding like a thousand different things in the air and on one foot and just can't handle it all.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

And that's your fault. They're like, you can't, well, why'd you say yes? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

You have a problem saying no. Yes. Mm-hmm. I sure do. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Yeah. Um, blood sugar swings from skipping meals, which I feel like is due to stress. You just don't have like you don't think you have the time, or relying on sugar and caffeine. I don't know. Skipping on sugar for energy. No. I just like it. I rely on caffeine.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Holly has a little thing for sweets. I do. And snacks. She really needs her snacks. How would is there an actual timeline for snacks, or do you just need to have them available?

SPEAKER_00 6:49

I so I eat throughout the day, but I eat I don't usually eat large meals. Right. So I I that helps me with my energy level is that if I eat smaller things throughout the day, it actually helps my energy.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

I think that's brilliant because your body relies on food to work. It means them that to create the energy. So it's brilliant that you do that. The snacking really does help, I think, but snacking smart. Yes. You know. Yeah. It's not just going to grab a handful of MMs, which I like peanut MMs, and that's where I would go. I love a little handful of peanut MMs, and I justify it because it's got peanuts in there.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Oh, there you go. There's some protein. I do think I have to be planned. If I don't want it to go badly, I plan it. So I bring my snacks and I do like sweets, but I bring health, I do bring healthy snacks that I eat.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

But and really high protein snacks. They're so good. Holly always comes up with some great new finds on high protein snacks. I have a high protein diet. It's helped me. Yes. Um, so I gotta bring up something that maybe there's other suffers out there, but one thing that makes my hormone journey a little bit more complicated is my thyroid. I have Hashimoto's. So it really doesn't matter how much effort I put forth because if that little thyroid wants to be pissed off at me, it gets, it wins. It trumps everything I do. But I am very religious about my vitamin D. Yes. Um, my iron pills. I have no choice because I do get anemic from time to time, so I do have to maintain my iron pills.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

I'm gonna give I can give you a smoothie recipe. Ooh. I just did my blood work and I have really high iron, which I've never had. I'm actually, it's too high. No, but I realized it's the protein that I'm putting in the smoothies, plus I put a bunch of spinach in there. Oh. So I'll hook you up on the iron. So, what does it do if you have too much iron? Well, I don't know. So I go to the doctor next month. I sent them my blood work because we do it through work, and um, they wrote me back to just be like, well, have you changed increased your iron in your diet? Are you taking it in supplements? And I checked everything, and I didn't realize this protein that I'm taking has so much iron in it. Um, and plus I put the spinach in because you know I'm a child and I need to hide my vegetables. So that I mean, I I don't know what the actual, but I'm out of the range, which that's not good. I want to be, I want to be in the green. So I because there has to be long-term effects.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

I'm sure there's your body can't necessarily process the iron, I assume. So stay tuned for when I go to the doctor, I'll let you know. Future episodes. We'll have to revisit that. Tell me more about the smoothie.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

I put, okay, so I put frozen pineapple.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Um, I love pineapple.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

If you want, I sometimes make it with or without. I do have like a sugar-free apple juice. Sometimes I like the flavor of it, but you can give or take that. Okay. Spinach. I probably do a cup to a cup and a half of spinach in there. And then I do a fresh banana, not a frozen one. It gets the right texture.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

I gotcha. And then I do I have big issues with texture, so I believe in that.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

Yeah, no, it's a real thing. Um, and then I put in what's two scoops is one serving of this. It's the it's the organe. Um, I should know more. It's just plain, I think it might be a pea protein. Oh. It's not like a whey or it's not like a dairy one. Um if you but if you put that in certain things, it tastes like dirt. But putting in the smoothie is part, like you can't taste it. It's good. Okay. Um and then we're gonna have to share that.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

We'll share it on our socials.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Yeah, we will. And then I put some collagen in it, some probiotic collagen in it.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Ooh, we know how big of a fan you are of collagen.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

See, and I know you don't like in your coffee, but maybe you could throw it in the smoothie when it taste it. Then I wouldn't taste it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yeah. Okay. I am definitely down to try that.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

It sounds like my smoothie recipe. If anyone needs me to repeat it or send it to you. Yeah, just send us a message. Send us a message.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Um emotional, people pleasing, and saying yes when you're already depleted. Let's talk about that. Renee.

unknown 10:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Renee and I are known people pleasers. I feel like we're poster children for this. Oh no. Yes, we actively uh work on not being people pleasers, but it's really hard to change that once people have that expectation of you. Because, you know, as much as I say I'm really proud of my bitch dum, I don't really want. I'm sure that's in the Websters. I love that. Um, but I really, really don't want people to think that I'm a bitch. I am actually really nice. People do not think you're a bitch. Oh, some people are scared of me, Holly. Evidently. I come across in the bitch dum world pretty strongly. But I I'm just gonna also attribute that to hormones because they suck.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

The people are the hormone.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

I mean, it's great justification, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 11:54

It is, it is hormones. Great excuse. We'll do one on that.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

It's also a great excuse for people pleasing. Because, you know, because we're kind of off-kilter sometimes, we're worried about our brain fog, we're worried about our focus, we're worried that we're not doing enough, we compensate by being people pleasers. It's 100% compensation.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Yeah, I'll blame the hormones and not. I haven't been like this my whole life. Can we ask Jake that? No. No comment from Jake. Uh the official no comment. That's his answer. All right. Well, that's that's pretty fun. Um, I'm trying to think. We probably should move to more positive of things that can help us. Oh, great idea.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

I'm sure there's a lifestyle shift. Tell me that I have to stop drinking alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Yeah, you I mean, Nate, you may need more recovery than you're used to, and that's okay. Yes. Um rest is good. Shorter workouts, strength training, walking, rest days matter more now. That's important.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

I believe 100% that strengthening your body is a really smart move at this very young age of 29. Yeah. I think that I feel weak physically sometimes, and that makes me feel weak mentally, and then I have the justification for the brain fog and all of the other things. So I think definitely adding um some strength training to your workout routine or lack thereof would be beneficial for the fatigue.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

It's huge, I think. I think that women should do weights, especially just because it's so good for your for your bones. Agreed, and you don't have to do a lot.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

You don't you don't have to bulk up and do even 20-pound weights, you can just do five and ten.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

No one feels ashamed. I I had a goal of last year to be able to bench the bar, which is 45 pounds. I have never been able to bench the bar, people, and the amount of people that I shared, like this is my goal, they were all like, you can bench the bar. They were all men. Um, but no, I can't. I could not, I can now. I'm gonna have 10 pounds on your size, so I'm up to 65. I don't know that I'm gonna ever get past it. I I am plateaued at that. But you the it is physically, it was so hard for me. So don't let that embarrass you guys. I can't, I couldn't bench the bar, okay? So, and that's normal. Well, I think we should give you a round of applause.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Congratulations. I mean, even small goals are goals, and when you reach them, you feel good about yourself because you feel the change in your body. Yep. Um, so nutrition and hydration are obviously the one things that most people could do on like an instant notice. You know, you could stop on your way home and grab some electrolytes uh to increase your hydration, grab a gallon of water and make sure you finish it for the day. Um, but I think the protein is something you mentioned you put it in your smoothie, but I think that is very valuable for us at this stage of our life.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah, I think pro uh increased protein, less sugar.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Is like the best chance for us.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Definitely. And it prevents us from crashing, which is one of those things that just is a game ender for your day. You know, I've got a five-year-old. He doesn't allow me to crash. Oh, yeah. He's very sympathetic when I say mommy needs to sit down, but he doesn't really say, okay, you can crash now. Yeah. Day's always like, go to bed, go lay down. I'm like, you tell that to the little one. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

All right. Uh, stress, stress, and boundaries. We can talk about chronic stress drains drains energy faster than anything. Woo-hoo. Um, boundaries are not selfish, they are necessary. And I think this is something Renee and I both probably struggle with. Often. It is important. You have to take care of yourself. This is your permission to take care of your dang self.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Right. Right. And this is uh the reminder that you're not crazy. I like to throw that in there. Um, but then there's always the medical support as well, Holly. You know, we talk about our hormone replacement therapy journey throughout our episodes, and that is what works for us. But there's so many other things, and there could be lots of things going wrong with your body. Like I said earlier, I have um Hashimoto. So my thyroid controls my world, and that's a difficult thing for me, but I was diagnosed with that. So there is a space where medical professionals have to find other things that might be going wrong with your body. It's not always just hormones, but at this stage of life, it's a good place to start looking.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Yeah. I think it's important to talk about some myths that go along with um fatigue. Yes. So, myth one, I love this one. Pushing harder will fix it. Oh, of course. No, you don't have the energy. You don't have the energy to do it. Stop. You're fine. Rest. I don't know. Uh myth two, our favorite one. Caffeine is the solution. And yes, it is, people. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

It is okay to use that as the solution. It's okay. It's actually where Hot Flash and Sassy was born because Holly and I go on mental breaks uh and we have a little coffee lunch date here and there, and that's actually where this whole idea came from. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Okay, and three is I this is what I hear the most. Oh god, I hate this one. This is just how it is now.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

You just gotta deal with it. You're like, this is my life. At 29, I have no energy, and I'm just this is what I'll do from the rest of my life. I refuse the life sentence. Oh, I agree. Take it back. I don't want it. Energy, it may look different, and it does. I have more energy now. Mine still looks very different than when I was 25, but you do not have to live an exhausted life.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

I don't want to. I really, I mean, I'm already gonna be the old mom at school. You know what I mean? Like, I have a five-year-old people, but I also have a 22-year-old. I mean, I am not the same mom that I was to my 22-year-old. You know, she had a rock star body, had all the energy in the world. We played outside for like three hours every day after we got home from school. I'm kind of not that gal anymore. And that's okay. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, it's acceptance. But but I refuse to accept that this is my life sentence. So I'm fighting it. I'm fighting it with hormone replacement therapy and supplements. You do you, girl. I got it. I got it. So your body is not asking for something, it's not punishing you, it is going through something, and we have to acknowledge that. So there is some level of acceptance that your body is changing to some degree. So listening instead of fighting it is often where you can kind of have a mental turning point. You listen to your body, you be a little bit more in tune, you notice the subtle changes, and then you have to, you know, just like the doctors do, trial and error. Um, but instead of trying with medication, try making some of these little changes and see where you can make a little progress. Because progress comes in small, consistent changes. We are not all perfect, so don't try to be perfect. Just make little subtle changes that maybe you'll notice like an overall change in your body.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Baby steps, people baby steps. All right. Well, that that's a lot about fatigue. So um, if fatigue has been weighing on you, please know you're not imagining it.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

There are explanations, options, which we discussed, and most of all, hope.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

That's what there's hope. You need hope. Um, of course, as we say every week, share this episode with someone who keeps saying, I don't know why I'm so tired.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

And remember, rest is productive, energy is renewable, and you're still powerful. Yes, girl. Make sure you like and subscribe and follow us on Facebook. Thanks for listening.