You're Not Crazy

This episode dives into the mental health side of perimenopause and menopause from anxiety and depression to brain fog and emotional overwhelm. We break down how hormonal shifts affect your mood and why you’re not “crazy”. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hot Flash and Sassy, a podcast with hot takes, hotter flashes, and a whole lot of sass.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Okay, let's get this started. We are talking about hormones and mental health. You're not losing it, your hormones are. So let's start with this. If you've ever thought I don't recognize myself anymore, this episode is for you.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

If your emotions feel louder, sharper, or completely unpredictable, you are not alone.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

And if someone has told you, just relax, I hope you punch them. Yes. Practice gratitude. Go F yourself. Or try harder. Mm-hmm. And then my favorite, you're crazy. You're gonna need a minute. Take a beat before you hurt someone. And then listen to us.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

I might need a minute. Okay. Um because today we're talking about how hormones, perimenopause, and menopause impact mental health and why this is not a personal failing. You're not losing it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Your hormones are shifting, and no one prepared us for how much that affects our minds. So true. So true.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

So true. Okay, so for a lot of women, perimenopause feels worse than menopause itself. That's because hormones aren't steadily declining. They're fluctuating wildly. And in real life stress, careers, caregiving, aging parents, kids, relationships, identity shifts.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

And suddenly your nervous system is on high alert all the time. Yes, this is why so many women experience anxiety or depression, sometimes for the first time in midlife, and have no idea what is hitting them. And yet we're often told it's just stress or just life. Yep. Yeah. Thanks for that. All the time. All the time. Thanks for that. Just let's just pass it off. Yeah, right. I love the word just.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

All right. Well, let's break this down in human language. Estrogen plays a big role in serotonin and dopamine. It sounds like you're speaking a foreign language. You said human language. Well, I, you know, I'm reading the words you gave me. The feel-good brain chemicals. There you go. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Serotonin, dopamine, feel-good brain chemicals.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

So when estrogen, when estrogen fluctuates or drops, mood can drop too. Irritability, sadness, brain fog, it's all connected.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Yes, it is. And then we go back to progesterone, which is your calming hormone. It helps with sleep and anxiety. So when progesterone declines, many women experience increased anxiety, panic feelings, racing thoughts. Then there's Holly's favorite, the cortisol steps in with your stress hormone.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

I always have talked about the cortisol because it's just my number one, I guess. I know. It's everyone's favorite. So chronic stress plus hormonal changes equals cortisol overload, which shows up as an emotional reactivity, overwhelm, or burnout. And yes, testosterone matters. Very much so. Um just ask Judy. It does. And I think that's a big thing that um we didn't realize because it supports your confidence, motivation, and drive. But when it drops, women can feel flat, disconnected, or like they've lost their spark. Um I feel like when I hear testosterone, I think of just men. But you don't realize that women also naturally have testosterone.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah. I think of steroids. Like, right, and you know why that's what it is. And I don't, I now know better because Holly and I get what's called a booster shot, and that's the testosterone goes in when we get our pellets. Yeah. And that just kind of jump starts our our progress towards normal.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Which we get a testosterone pellet also. Yep. Um, which Renee got a picture of. I did.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

We're gonna post pictures of the pellets because Holly, I just got my my pellets recently. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

I'm going Monday. I'm going Monday. So excited. It's an amazing thing. We like to get the boosters because it kicks in faster. It doesn't last very long, but it is nice that um it can kind of that's the that's the hormone. That's what gets us going to be like we have our energy again and can get to think and write.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

It reminds us what normalcy might feel like. And the cool part about the booster shot is you can get it monthly. So in addition to us getting the pellets, we could go monthly to get a booster shot um of s of just testosterone. That's all that's in there.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Which I don't think either of us do, though. We typically only get it at our pellet appointments.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Or when you feel a lug before the next appointment. If you can't make it, if you can't make it. If you can't make it to your next appointment. Yeah. Yeah. I yes, agree. I mean, three months is a long time. It is a long time. Long stretch. It is a long stretch. Anyway, um, so common mental health symptoms um is something that we're talking about today relating to hormones. So let's normalize what so many women experience, experience but rarely talk about anxiety. New or suddenly worse. Yes, that's so much fun. I love my anxiety so much. Depression or low mood that doesn't quite make sense, that all plays a part in your mental health.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

Yep. Um, irritability or rage that feels out of character, mood swings, emotional numbness, which is when I want to be able to talk about crying for no reason. I that's not normal.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

You mean me crying on my way to work is not normal.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

I feel like I had such a combination of emotional numbness and crying before anything because I seriously okay. No, I had emotion. It was pissed off. I know that was where like you said rage, and I'm like, that's me. Like it so I did, I feel like that, but like I didn't have almost like that empathetic feeling or that like you know, but then yes, and then I would could cry very easily too. I would go through these periods where it was like the easiest thing to cry. It was awful. Yeah, it's awful, and I do think that it for me, experiencing anxiety later in life that I didn't always deal with that was a huge thing for me. So before my hysterectomy, I was on a daily anxiety pill that I had probably been on for like two years, maybe, um, because I was struggling. I just and I had never had to be on a daily anxiety pill.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Um and you just couldn't calm your anxiety.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

I it was bad. I mean, I I couldn't sleep, the mind going, the just that mood, and I was just like, what is this? I couldn't focus, which then I even for a while was on like an ADHD medicine for that, and then I went to the anxiety, and then I'm like, and none of that was actually fixing anything, but it's because it was my hormones, right? My root cause. Right. I am not saying that that is everybody's root cause of an anxiety. I want to be clear.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

No, and like we always say, we are not medical professionals, so please consult your medical professional if you do have any of these symptoms. It's really important. I mean, that's one thing that we have to we're trying to call attention to it here because you're not crazy. There is a chemical imbalance in your body that's causing this stuff to happen. Yeah, but that rage, I mean, I feel that.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

And that's a piece of it. I mean, there's still brain fog, the memory lapses. Everyone's like the mom brain or whatever it is. And I'm like, I mean, it probably shouldn't be this bad though.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

No, it's probably should be called the men the menopause brain.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Yeah, the loss of confidence. Yes. I think that's there. It's terrible. Um, the important part, you can experience all of this even if you've never had a mental health struggle. So I think that's a big takeaway, too. You can have had mental health struggles, and this could be worse, and this could be why it's flaring up, or this could be just why all of a sudden you have it. Right. Um, I I recently shared a story with you, Renee, about some family history of ours that my mom told me, which is crazy. Crazy. My grandmother, my dad's mom, and then my great-grandmother on my mom's side both which by the way, it's important to know, one was on your dad's side, one was on your mom's side. Correct. They both had to have hysterectomies. And now, granted, this was long ago, they both had hysterectomies, full hysterectomies, and there was no hormone replacement therapy. Both of them had like some mental breakdowns, I guess they would call it like hysteria, and they they underwent shock treatment.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Unbelievable.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

That is insane to hear.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

Unbelievable.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

And duh, duh, they lost it. You just took all their parts. Yeah. You took all the things that were making these hormones that are keeping so many things in balance. All their energy solution was shock treatment.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Yeah. As if it was a brain problem.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

It's not your whole makeup has just been collapsed, you know, like your entire insides went away. And now your body's got to try and figure out what to do without that.

unknown 8:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

These insides that produce these very important things is, you know, I exactly. It is such a real thing. So for anybody out there that's like listening and just feels emotionally like a wreck, like I hear you, I see you. It's this is real. It's real. It's been my life. I get it. It's tough.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

100%.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Um, I think, you know, we kind of go into things that can help us and that also fall in line with uh this mental health issue. And every time we talk, every episode, it comes back to the wonderful sleep.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Sleep. Sleep. I mean, it is important because um sleep deserves its own spotlight in this case in particular, because we do have to be kind to our bodies. Yeah. When we're mentally breaking the F down, you can't just be mean to your body and say, you got to keep go, go, go. You gotta keep pushing because that's not gonna help anything. You're just gonna break down more. And you're not doing any favors to your family, you're not doing any favors for your body, and you're not gonna recover from that breakdown if you don't give yourself the time to sleep. So um they of it obviously causes disruption to your sleep, but allowing your body the time to the downtime and the decompression to get some sleep is really important because poor sleep increases anxiety, depression, emotional reactivity, and our favorite brain fog. Yeah. If you can't, if you're not rested, your body's not rested, your brain's not rested.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

But what's crazy is that all those things also make it harder to sleep, right? Like it's like that vicious cycle, it's a loop and it's brutal. I mean, everything seems to be a cycle with sleep. We we talk about it every episode. So it's why addressing sleep is not optional. It's the foundation for mental health in your midlife. So if you have to take anything away from all of our podcasts, like first figure out how you can fine-tune your sleep. Yeah. What's causing you to have disruptive sleep? What can you do to get better sleep? Because that's like the catalyst to so many things here.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

Give your body that that space to find a way to decompress, to allow it to rest.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

It has to recover, it has to recover from the day, you know?

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Definitely. Um, well, you know, we talk about all of these things, the sleep, the hormones, and that sort of thing, but there is um some reprieve by going through therapy. So therapy is incredibly helpful, and sometimes it's not the whole situation, though. So, I mean, we want to give credit where credit's due. It's so important to seek medical resources for this very, very important topic. Depression is not um something that you can just graze over and think it's gonna go away. You actually have to give it the attention. Um, and your hormones are out of balance. So coping skills can only go so far. You can only do so much where you need to do breathing exercises, but then you still feel anxious. I actually do tapping, um, and it is a really nice resource. I think we've talked about it before. I meditate. Um, it does help me when I'm going through anxiety. It definitely brings me out of that moment. And I think anybody listening knows what that moment means. You know, when you're at that point where you're feeling like you're having an out-of-body encounter where you just cannot control your own body. Some there are resources out there that will that can help you. Um, and medical professionals are definitely needed, but sometimes that's you can only talk until you're blue in the face, and then you really gotta figure out something.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yeah, it's not necessarily the cure-all, just like I would say that not always necessarily the hormones are the cure-all or anything like that. It's um it doesn't mean that therapy has failed you or is not going to work. Maybe you need a maybe you need a combination of things, right? We've talked about that before. I call it the cocktail. That's right, yes. Because your body needs what works for you. Your body needs the support too. Right. So mental health in midlife often requires a whole body approach here. So hormonal evaluation, sleep support, medical care, emotional support. All the things.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Be kind to yourself and give yourself some grace. Please. Um, but what are some things that actually help, Holly? Let's talk about what truly supports mental health during this phase. Lifestyle. We know the lifestyle, and you know, I say it kind of with the tone in my voice because it all comes down to your lifestyle. But really, what it comes down to is being kind to yourself, consistent sleep routines, eating regularly to balance your blood sugar, gentle movements. We talked about it in the last episode. You don't have to start with a full 30-minute workout. How about doing five minutes at your desk with a little chair exercise? You know, just something that gets your body moving and feeling natural. And then um the nervous system regulation. You know, that's that's really important, just to find a way to regulate yourself.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Absolutely. Yep. Um, obviously, medical support matters too. So hormone therapy when appropriate. We're fans. We are fans, and we are big proponents of blood work, though. So definitely when appropriate. Um, medication when needed. Uh providers who understand menopause. Good luck finding those.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Um, you know how we said that you have to trial and error with the supplements. You also have to trial and error with your medical support staff. Yeah. Um, but they are out there. That's the most important thing. They are. And you know what I think is most important, Holly? What is that? Community. Finding emotional support is a non-negotiable. And you can do that through your community. A, we started Hot Flash and Sassy as a result of us relying on each other and sharing our stories and realizing that we weren't alone. We're not crazy. We were going through this at the same time and having the same struggles. So we realize that there's a community out there that needs this support. Um, naming what's happening. That's my favorite. Let's give it a name. It's hormones, okay? It is not anything other than hormones. It's not because you're a mom, it's not because you work full-time, it's not because you've got too many things going on in your life. Your hormones are wrecking your body. And so you need to acknowledge that, name it, and address it. Like, let's look at it in the mirror. Self-compassion instead of self-judgment is also really, really important. What did we say in the last episode, Holly? You talked about um looking at pictures of yourself and saying that you're pretty.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

I'm beautiful. I'm pretty. Oh, look how good I look in that picture. Yeah. Whether you actually mean that or not, try to say it in every picture and supposedly you'll start believing it. I am not, I have not been able to do this. I would be clear. Right. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

We are gonna try to do that. But I'm gonna try.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Yes, I'm gonna try.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

But again, it goes back to little things matter. So dental movements, baby steps, I'm a fan.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Yep, it's great. Yeah. All right, so let's talk about grief again. We talked about this in our last episode, too. But it's important, and that is huge here with your mental health because when we talk about how you're going through grief for your body and things, that is mentally impacting you. Like that's what it is. The it's the grief for who you used to be, for the energy, the patience, or the ease you once had. That patience, I've always prided myself in being a patient person, but nothing tests that like an imbalance in hormones, people.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

I do not have patience. I love this. This is another uh yin yang yang portion of the show. Um, I have zero patience. So you that's where the rage comes in because I can't control my patience in the first place, and then you throw this stuff on it. So you never had patience. Never. Okay. Never just ask anybody who knows me really well, like my family. Um, but midlife is asking us to redefine ourselves. And I think that's a really important takeaway for all of this. Depression, even if we haven't encountered it before, we might have to address it now. And we might have to redefine ourselves how we handle our um emotional state. So that identity shift is great to think about. Feeling instead of feeling destabilizing, we need to look at it as growth. So we're overcoming this destabilization that hormones have created in our body. And you're not breaking down, you're transitioning.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Look at you.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

It's like you're a butterfly. I'm a butterfly. What did uh Coach Travis says the goo is good. There you go. We just didn't the goo right at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Yes. Exactly. Um so when should you ask for help? This is a big one. Every day, anytime, any time, whenever you need to.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Find a friend, call a medical professional, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yep. So some signs to know that it's time to ask for help. Um, persistent depression, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, feeling disconnected, hopeless, or unlike yourself for long periods. Um, asking for help is health care. It's not a weakness. Yes. You got to take care of yourself. Um, there is a piece you get great validation talking to your friends. We get great validation, but um, sometimes that's not enough either, right?

SPEAKER_01 18:14

So we get great great validation from our fans. They comment all the time on how much they love the topics that we're addressing because they feel it. They are in it with us. Well, yeah. And again, misery loves company, I guess. So that's right. But guess what? You're not too sensitive, you're not dramatic, and you are not broken. Hormones impact mental health. Period. That is the end-all be all statement. It is a fact of what we're going through at this stage of life. And support should feel validating, not dismissive.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Nope. You are not crazy, people.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

All right. On that note, uh, if you like this episode, you feel like you've been seen, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Because no one should go through this feeling alone or ashamed. Because we're all in it together, ladies. We're in it together.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

This is Hot Flash and Sassy, where we say the things women were never warned about and remind you that you're not losing it and you're not crazy. No, you're not. See you on the next episode, huh, Holly?

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Yeah. Make sure that if you like this one, you follow us on Facebook and you like and subscribe to our podcast.